The China Connection

2009 our Dreams, Goals and Expectations

After our wild adventures in 2008, (yes this is a photo courtesy of the Morris family of us walking through the typhoon waters in Guangzhou after Charis' medical exam) we are heading forward in this New Year with great expectancy and some big goals.  Though the last two years have presented more then a few challenges for our family, we know this is a year that holds much promise. We are on the right track now with our business (though we didn't realize that that there was any issue until this past spring)and steadily moving along with our soon to be completed "mega" website which will allow editors worldwide to "shop" for our images from the convenience of their computer.  We are confident that this will greatly increase our sales, which have fallen sharply the last two seasons. It was quite a shock to us when we discovered that one of our largest purchasers no longer wanted to look at slides (of which we have over 500,000), but only digital files, so this site should more then accomplish this task.

Charis is daily showing signs of improvement, with her speech, motor skills, bonding, attaching and other important aspects of development. We've even begun seeing the "typical" two year old testing, complete with the occasional tantrum. She has also begun having regular meltdowns as soon as we take her into the childcare room at our local gym that Bane and I attend. Though not fun to deal with, this is a good indication that she is properly bonding and attaching to us. Initially her reaction there was "see ya bye" and off she went. Tomorrow she will have a physical therapist and others evaluate her to see if she needs improvement in any area and if so providing us the knowledge to properly address these needs. If necessary they will work with her until she is where she should be for her age level developmentally. As I stated in our last blog, based on what we've seen and shared with them, they are very pleased with her progress in two short months. Lyndsay is growing so fast and is showing a lot of improvement with her new role as a big sister. She really enjoyed seeing our families at Christmas and is already asking when she can go back. Our two year goal to move back to Maryland has been put on hold, but our new goal of two more years could be realistic. Once we are financially able to move, it will put us closer to our families and the majority of people we work with doing dog photos. I think it will be good for the girls to be able to spend more time with our families rather then quick visits a couple of times a year. It will help tremendously on the amount of travel we will have to do in order to get to photo shoots as well. Rather then 5 or more weeks on the road, we can do more weekends and work from home, allowing us at that point to put the girls in a more traditional school environment rather then home school. I love the idea of home schooling, but the time element concerns me. Lyndsay with her extremely strong will, is not proving to be an easy student either. She is so bright, but completely shuts down when made to sit still and learn something, even when trying to make it fun.  She acts totally different in a classroom setting and submits to authority willingly. Go figure. The social aspects will benefit her as well, as she has only been home with Bane and I for the last three years. We are on a waiting list for a preschool, but as of this time an opening is still not available. Charis is much more social, as she had no choice but to be in the orphanage setting, she loves just about everyone and is a clown, enjoying making people laugh....hmmm, could that be another challenge! LOL  Probably, but I'm sure easier then the many challenges of our older blessing!

Fuji, our shih tzu pup, has turned out to be such a wonderful little dog, he is so easy and cooperative for photo shoots, though if it involves too much "work" he just lays his head down and wilts. A huge difference from our beloved, but very head strong golden Bogen who we lost this past summer to cancer, at the much too young age of 8. I know Fuji will be heavily published, just as his predecessor has been and still is.

Bane has been enjoying working on some wood projects, building some lovely benches, tables and for Christmas he made me a gorgeous jewelry box partially with walnut from our property. He put so much time and effort making these and really seems to like it. He made a beautiful bench for our pastor and his family for Christmas and he offered him the opportunity to put some furniture for sale in his showroom (he owns a cabinet making business).

I'm looking forward to a much needed vacation, then preparing for our spring shoots and calendar submissions for 2011....yes, that is scary, but they work two years ahead.  I pray that our sales for 2010 calendars will be record highs, at this point it is difficult to know, but like everything else we do, ours is a business operated completely by Faith. We don't go by what the media says, or what our bank accounts look like, because we know that God will supply everything we need and that all things are possible to him who believes. Have a blessed, prosperous New Year!

The End of One Year, the Beginning of a New Chapter

Hi Ya'll!  It has been over a month since I last posted, but with life being hectic raising two girls, preparing for the Christmas season and making adjustments to our business matters, time passed quickly. So better late then never! The girls are growing so rapidly, Charis has finally outgrown most of her 12 month pants and Lyndsay's legs are so long she fits into pants that I was sure would drag the ground.  They are beginning to play together nicer and now Lyndsay only aggravates Charis about half the time.  I guess she is realizing that Charis is here to stay and often enjoys the companionship when she can get beyond the jealousy. They were both excited with Christmas being here, though Charis didn't understand it yet, she just liked all the excitement. We were fortunate to be able to visit some of our family and a few friends this past week and Charis thoroughly enjoyed the attention. She was in a bit of sensory overload, as she is not used to that much activity or the large number of people. Despite this she just ran on overdrive and crashed hard at the end of the day, that is, once she was able to settle down. Both girls traveled extremely well this trip, and even though Lyndsay is a seasoned traveler, we were a bit concerned due to her behavior the last few months. We were very proud of her and Charis as to their patience and contentment during the 11 hour journey. This is a good sign that we could be in good shape to travel for our spring shooting season. 

 I think everyone enjoyed seeing them and were pleasantly surprised at Charis'  progress over the last two months that she's been home.  She is increasingly more agile, is feeding herself with surprising skill and is more coordinated and "talkative".  She is very vocal, but most of what she is saying is babble with the occasional English words, sounds and singing, which sounds like Chinese. I'm understand bits and pieces of Mandarin, but I think the majority is mixed with baby babble. She is mimicking us more and is adding words often, but still is not verbalizing her needs or wants, but rather fusses to get what she wants. We insist that she "tell" us, whether through signing or words, before offering her the object of desire so she doesn't get "lazy" with using her speech.  There is an occupational therapist coming to evaluate her progress next week and they might conduct a hearing test to be sure that she is hearing well. We know that initially her hearing was impaired due to the huge amount of wax in her ears that the Dr. removed over a month ago.  After this she spoke more clearly and didn't sleep as sound, since she no longer had "earplugs".  Based on what we've shared with her, she thinks Charis is doing extremely well just with the care she's received at home. We just want to be sure we're giving her every opportunity to reach her fullest potential and not hinder her progress by inadvertently missing something.  I think she is increasingly loving music and loves playing with anything that produces sound.  She is so animated as she sings and dances, swaying exuberantly from side to side as I've seen the girls in China do. They are quite theatrical, and it's fun to watch their uninhibited ability to perform. 

A couple of weeks ago Lyndsay suggested doing photos of her, Charis and Fuji (our Shih Tzu puppy), in the studio. I had been wanting to do this for some time, but it was entirely too busy.  We've been waiting on the completion of our new website in order to load our images on line for the many editors to make their selections from. While waiting we had a temporary decrease in our workload, so we set the studio up (it lay dormant for many months) and got busy shooting. I've attached some of the many images we did on 2 different days, I hope you enjoy them.

   

Hmmm, what can I get into now?                                I know I'll blow you a kiss!

    

   

    

     

Flourishing

Every day is filled with new accomplishments for Charis, as well as Lyndsay. This week we awoke to Da...D, Da....D, Da....D as Charis made it clear she was waiting for Bane to come get her out of the crib, as she was done sleeping!  We have heard her speech daily improving, and realized that a big part of her delay was the huge hunks of hard wax deep in her ear canals. Once she had the doctor remove the build up she immediately was hearing better. She could not hear clearly due to these "earplugs", so she was saying what she heard and it was mumbled. She has increased with her mimicking us more and more. We also noticed that she doesn't sleep as soundly as she had....bummer!

We have discovered that she is a problem solver, she will patiently work with stacking cups, rings or anything that requires thinking skills and work them successfully. She has an engineering type mind. I suppose she will be our future office person, marketing specialist and Lyndsay, who is creative, but needs help in the patience area, will be our future photographer.  Charis has also proved be a genuine clown, delighting in entertaining us and making us laugh. Laughter is the best medicine for all of us.

The last two weeks we introduces her to eating with spoon, we had waited to do this, feeding her ourselves for the first month to help with requiring her to make eye contact (something she did not do at first). The second process was allowing her to feed herself with her fingers, helping her develop fine motor skills with her index finger and and thumb, something she didn't have much experience with. Now she is quickly picking up the skills of using utensils to eat....it ain't pretty, but she's getting it!

Though she is much more patient when it comes to food, she still struggles with being convinced that she has had enough, so we must stop her with every meal. She does not get quite as worked up when she is hungry, but some days are harder then others as she cries hysterically while we quickly prepare a meal for her.  The improvement is obvious, since a couple of weeks ago she would burst into tears when she had food in her mouth, some in her hand and a little in her bowl, but could see the bottom of the dish. It was as though the end of the meal was the last food she would see and she didn't want to eat the last bites, as she might not have more later. It made us sad to think of how she might not have had enough to eat. It must have been very hard having been in a place of not feeling satisfied, not only with food, but emotionally and physically as well.  She came from a very good orphanage and though they loved and adequately met the needs of children, they can only offer so much with so many children. Charis was not a demanding child so I'm guessing she sometimes was temporarily overlooked, as the more demanding, boisterous children were attended to. We are so delighted with her progress and can't imagine life without her.

Lyndsay has done better adjusting to the changing dynamics of our family and the role each member plays in our daily life. Though we are daily having to correct her for various undesirable behaviors,  she is showing signs of improvement. I guess she has determined that this little "invader" isn't leaving and she tries to interact more in play. The remainder of the time is spent tormenting her or telling on her.  Ah, the joys of sisterhood....it's wonderful!

I've attached some photos from the past several weeks to make you smile including her first haircut, or really a little trim.

 Three treasures from China 

Can you feel the love?  I'm not sure about walking in these thingsPlaying in the leaves   Isn't this a beautiful leaf? 

 Fuji finding out where she's off to.Checking out her gift from April, very nice!Reading Dr. Suess, always a favorite Whee!!      Running 

Group Hug before bed     

 

 I thought she only did this to Fuji!  Oh, what I have to put up with!The Artist  The Masterpiece

       I like this eating with a spoon stuff    

A little shower in the fall

Yes, you've all heard of spring showers, but for Charis it was a fall shower in the form of a Chinese Tea party. Some of the ladies at our church blessed us with a little shower for Charis on Oct 25th, now that she's home. It was very sweet, as each of the four qualities represented, four different ladies read a scripture correlating to that quality. The first Harmony, the next Respect, another Purity and the last Tranquility.  One of the biggest needs we had upon coming home was to have help with meals for the first week. This was a huge issue when we arrived home with Lyndsay, so we wanted to be better prepared this time. Prior to going to China, several families in the church prepared meals that could be frozen so all we had to do was "heat and eat". This might seem like such a small thing, but was an extreme blessing during that initial adjusting time. The other need we had was to purchase a playpen type enclosure to protect her while on shoots, as well as to keep her safe while at home if she needed to be contained in a smaller area or to keep the dogs from being in her face.  With the gift cards several families gave us we were able to go to Hickory this week to Babies R Us and get one and a couple of pair of pants for her. We've already used the "corral" and she will have a few nicer pairs of pants for church. Her legs are so short, the outfits we had for her only half fit. She is still wearing 12 month pants and 18 month tops.

She is doing so well, and now will even voluntarily pet the dogs on occasion. They now ignore her for the most part,though every fiber of their being wants her to play with them.  The fact that she didn't burst into tears if they came in the same vicinity was the first huge step and now she interacts a little.  It makes everyone laugh when she mimics their barking. This past week we tried giving her the first sandwich, that to our knowledge, she has eaten. We've been careful of what we feed her, because she still wants to swallow food whole. Her peanut butter sandwich went down just fine though. We had such a good time watching her enjoy it, we took pictures to share with everyone else.

 

   

 

 PEANUT BUTTER FACE!

  

Lyndsay had to strike a pose when she saw the camera come out. This is a new thing for her, we always had to really work at getting her photos. Jealousy, such an interesting creature! 

  

   

Partying Again!

We spent the day yesterday, once again "partying". We are just a partying family! LOL Those who know how conservative we really are, are laughing right about now!  Lyndsay turns 4 tomorrow the 3rd of November. Bane and I are firmly believing that 4 is the "magic" number, that somehow there will be some kind of supernatural transformation and she will wake up Monday morning and presto! She will be pleasant all day, we will be showered with affection, praised for being good parents, she will adore and be a great role model for her little sister........(Well we can dream can't we?).

Saturday's weather here was spectacular, so we headed out early to meet a local mom and her 4 year old ,Grace, for breakfast. After we enjoyed our meal, we gave Lyndsay a few presents, (among them a small digital camera that we once used extensively) then packed everyone up to head off to Tweetsie Railroad theme park for the morning. After a couple of hours of rides we shared a small birthday cake. When we arrived at the picnic area a Chinese family came in right behind us. They had several small children so we invited them to have some cake with us. It was so nice to have them join us, though briefly. They were able to understand the few words I do know in Mandarin, and the hardest part of the language is pronounciation, so to be understood is a feat in itself. By lunchtime Grace needed to leave and just a short time later we followed suit when the attitudes kicked in full force with hungry and tired children. Earlier this week Charis was not feeling well, though we are not exactly sure why. She was running a temperature for a couple of days, then seemed fine. For some reason when we arrived home yesterday she was particularly fussy even after eating. We are noticing that she seems to get uncomfortable (gassy?) apparently after eating certain things. I am almost sure that she could be lactose intolerant, as this most recent episode was after eating the cake which has milk in it. When drinking lactose free milk she seems fine. It's a learning process for all of us.

We've noticed an increase in how fussy and whiny Charis is getting at mealtime. Though this is not a pleasant experience, it seems that it is an indication of progress with bonding and attaching, as she has reverted to a degree where she would have been as a little baby. When she was a baby in an orphanage she would most likely have cried, but not necessarily tended to, so she figured why bother. Now that her needs are being met, she vocalizes more, but now the need is met. This is a good sign that we are making progress, as it would be hard to move forward unless she has that cycle of need met. One of the many dynamics of the whole adoption process.  Charis still gets pretty worked up when it comes to eating and hears the scraping of the bottom of a bowl or just sees the bottom of the dish, she gets anxious and upset, even if she's full. I'm sure this is from a history of not having enough to eat or knowing when the next meal is coming. We are trying to instill in her that signing for more is enough and that it's not necessary to carry on. She's not convinced yet. From day one we realized that she would eat until she made herself sick if she were allowed to do so, therefore making is essential to monitor her intake. Enjoy some photos of our outing.

 

 

       

 

   

Lyndsay, Charis, Daddy and Grace

 

 

 

  Grace Greene

Busy week

We've had a busy third week home, but are all beginning to get settled in. Charis is doing well, though her teeth are coming in everywhere making her a little fussy....very unusual for this child! On the other hand we have Lyndsay who is having a better week. Not devoid of challenges, but at least improving. On Friday she had her hair cut, it turned out very cute and I think she really liked having the extra attention that came with it.  We did a photo session with she and her sister mid week, prior to her haircut. It was very interesting with a nearly four year old, a two year old and a 6 month old puppy...who is also very good. I've attached some of these. The new haircut shots will come next time, as time didn't permit us to do any after Friday. Charis' new words of the week are ball and Jie Jie (big sister). She is close to being able to run and still has little use for the dogs who want so badly for her to play with them. She is scheduled this coming week to go to the doctors for her well check and to see how she is progressing. Certainly no problem eating! This little girl can put away some food and literally does not know when to stop, so we must determine when she has had enough. The beachball-like belly usually is a pretty good indicator. Much to our delight we haven't found anything she won't eat and are able to give her very healthy food because of this. There was a time that Lyndsay would eat alot more variety, but as time goes on she has become more choosy in her eating habits. We certainly don't encourage it, but try to find healthy foods that she likes rather than stir up a new battle. Interesting enough this week she actually requested spinach. I had a clamshell package unopened so I cooked it for her (of course it shrivels to a small amount) and she ate the whole package. I was shocked....pleasantly this time! LOL  She also surprised us by allowing the dentist, who Bane was seeing for some work on his gums, to look in her mouth and see that they were doing okay. This is a big deal for her, as she still has some serious issues with people she doesn't know being in too close a proximity to her.   Monday we had a playdate with Patricia Cercopely and her three daughters from China. WIllow their youngest came home about 6 months ago from the same orphanage in Xiamen. They seemed to enjoy running around outside and playing together. The weather was glorious and we took full advantage! I've attached some of the images from our day of play as well.

           

Playdate with Chinese Sisters 

 

 

Lyndsay, Charis, Willow and Piper

 

Piper, Willow, Charis, Lyndsay and Sage

   

Sage, Piper, Willow, Charis and Lyndsay

  

We all survived the two week mark!

Though this past week had a rough start, with Lyndsay's challenges escalading, by mid week all her undealt with anger, jealousy and a whole host of other emotions running rampede came to a head and like a festering wound, burst open finally bringing healing and relief. (Sorry for the graphic description, but this is a very accurate description!)  We spent what seemed to be an eternity in her room on the floor in a full body lock until she got it all out of her system and was in a position to begin coping again. Unfortunately for us, this is not the first time we've dealt with this kind of rage with her, so we knew it was coming (it was in full force in China) and knew how to handle it, though not pleasant for either of us. The good thing is once we've taken this step, she is so much better afterward and in the days to come.

Having said all that, we have had a rather peaceful end to our week. We even took the girls to Tweetsie Railroad on Saturday, a small local theme park for young children. We just allowed Charis to take in all the sights and sounds, so she would not get too overwhelmed. I took her on the merry-go-round once, but only sat on the bench which of course only went around, and she watched Lyndsay behind her on a horse. She didn't seem to mind that, so later she went on a tiny boat ride with Lyndsay and though not sure, she didn't get at all upset by it.  It was a beautiful day and we all enjoyed the break.

Charis is doing great. She seems to be in the early stages of learning to chew her food, something she didn't know to do at all just a few weeks ago. She is getting more and more steady on her feet and discovered what fun it was to be able to back up to a little stool and sit on it. This fascinated her and she did so repeatedly and was delighted with herself. Her fine motor skills have improved, as she has learned to pick up bits of food and feed herself. We don't do this too often since she really needed alot of work on eye contact with us while eating, so one of us feeds her and we require that she look at us while doing so. Otherwise she can easily fall back into an orphanage pattern of zoning out and staring  into space while eating. Very mechanical. She is still needing work on the attachment and bonding process, as we noticed she will want us to pick her up frequently, but then wants down quickly. We recognize this as a sign of needing to bond more and attach to us, as this would be behavior she might show a nanny or stranger. So we are doing more holding, whether she wants it or not, I've used the hip hammock some more and I'm rocking her at night, though she's totally content for us to just lay her in the crib.(another orphanage issue). Other then these couple of issues she is doing very well, and is so good and content. She eats well and entertains herself, though she likes to play with Lyndsay when she decides it is time to be the positive big sister and not tease her.

I've attached some photos from Tweetsie Railroad

 

Catching up on photos

There was so much to see during our short time in China, that I can only give you a glimpse of how spectacular a Country it is. Though we only saw a tiny part of it, we know that there is so much more to see when we one day return with our girls to their homeland. We've recently learned that one of the most important ministries to Bane and I, Andrew Wommack Ministries (through whom we attended a local affiliated Bible college, a branch of his Colorado based Charis Bible College) will be going to China in a couple of years. Yes, this is where Charis gets her name (which means Grace) from. Who knows what the Lord might have us to do, I'm sure we will at least support them in this worthwhile effort. While in Guangzhou we met with the daughter of a local missionary family to learn about their efforts in China, it was great to hear what they were doing to help the local families.

I have finally gotten a chance to resize some of the images for the website. I'm needing to replace most of what was originally added due to the hugh file sizes, which I had no way to reduce while on the road. We hope you have enjoyed following our journey.  We will continue to update the site as we have time to do so. 

   

   

   

We didn't get to see much of this from Lyndsay except in spurts, so I'd better share what I do have

 

Playing on the bus with Daddy

      

Maddison, trying so hard to be friends with Lyndsay with little success       Charis signing for more!

   

 A Preschool building in Fuzhou with colorful mosiac tile artwork

 

One of two teahouses we visited in China, the other in Beijing. Sampling various Tea available

 

What trip would be complete without visiting the local Walmart

 

Dad wheeling Charis down the flat escalators         Some common street scenes

 

           

It's not uncommon for Americans to draw a crowd especially when you have a Chinese child.Our guide was not with us so it was difficult to understand what they were saying, but we could tell they were giving us the thumbs up!  The little bit of Mandarin I do know helped alot,at least I could tell them we were from Mei Guo "Beautiful Country" America.

  

The locals gathered to playing music and sing together in the park

 

Local fisherman in the Lake

 

 

The dynamic duo ran out of gas....quiet, such a lovely thing

 

Local artistian, writing characters on the sidewalk....with water

  

A woman selling fresh fruit outside of the ferry going to GuLangYu Island

Home for a week now

Saturday we successfully past the one week mark of being home from China. We are all getting back to our normal sleep patterns now and I'm slowly catching up on some much needed sleep, as one of the girls had me up throughout the night...every night for many days. Lyndsay is still having issues with all the changes, but getting back to a routine is helping. Today she tried for at least a few hours to revert to being a baby again, thinking she could get more attention, it was short lived when she had to eat room temperature baby's mashed peas for lunch. She then decided she wanted to sleep in Charis' crib, so we accommodated her. She quickly realized that she couldn't do much of anything in there and is too concerned with what everyone is doing and where they are at every moment to want to stay in there for long.  She told me that all she could do is twiddle her thumbs. I'm happy to report that we have our nearly four year old back tonight.

Charis is still doing great, her legs are growing stronger daily. This is apparent with her faster stride and even dancing.  She's getting better with the potty now, and claps when she is done her business and proclaims "Good Girl" (one of the few things she can say). She is a marathon sleeper, one night during our readjusting to the time change, sleeping for 15 1/2 hours straight. The following night though look out, she was VERY rested and decided at 1:30 in the morning to use her crib as a trampoline, until about 3:30 in the morning. She had a ball and began laughing at her new discovery, not bothering anyone or getting upset at all, until she finally went back to sleep.

After dinner tonight she had a banana milkshake, showing her approval by clapping and declaring "ummm" then signing for more. She mimics EVERYTHING that her big sister does. This is a challenge, since Lyndsay thinks it's funny to teach her undesirable things or annoying behaviors. Saturday we took the girls to a local park to play, they seemed to enjoy that and the weather was lovely. It is probably the first time Charis has been on a swing or sliding board and she thought both were great. Slowly she is warming up to the dogs. They have both tried so hard to play with her, but she would start to cry if they got too close. Now she tolerates them being close, but not touching her or in her face. She even petted Sozo the other night with a bit of help from me and didn't mind it. Before long she will have a whole mouthful of teeth, as many are breaking through at the same time. Even with the obvious discomfort that this brings, she is typically in a good mood, wakes up well and seldom cries. If you do hear her cry, half the time you can count on seeing Lyndsay close by (or running the other way). 

 We have been so blessed to have them in our lives. Each day is an adventure (and a challenge at times!), but when they flash one of those ear to ear smiles, we know that we wouldn't change a thing.

I'm still working on more pictures, but they will come....soon I hope!

        Can't I pick just one?Who can swing highest?        Two beautiful girls by beautiful fall mums. Yeah! The End....for today.

We are home!

Hi everyone, I have just a few minutes to let you know that we got in safely last night and are delighted to be home. It was a very difficult trip for "princess" Lyndsay, triggering two more night terrors on the last plane ride home. She is doing much better this morning after sleeping in her own bed and all of us getting a pretty good nights sleep. Even though we were awakened at 5:15 this morning by Charis crying we all feel pretty rested and are doing well this morning, so far there isn't even signs of jet lag.  Charis is playing happily in the living room with her wound up big sister teaching her all kinds of lovely bad behaviors! She is a very quick learner too....in this particular case that is not such a good thing! LOL

We are preparing to go to church, something we didn't expect to be doing this week, but Charis is doing so well and we so badly miss being in church, we will give it a try, though we will be careful not to overload her and I will keep her out of the sanctuary during the music ministry until she gets acclaimated to the noise. Thank you so much for all the prayers and support during this time, we still need to overcome some physical attacks that Bane and I have had due to the incredible stress on our systems. I'll post again soon and include photos.